Friday, July 17, 2009

When I Grow Up ...

... I want to be a mermaid ... at least that's what I said when I was five ...

ATC - 0709

Recently a comment I read had me thinking about art. Specifically my art ... and if I consider it mine ... or even art. See, I have had a lot of years to form ideas of what I consider to be "real" art. To be honest, what I do doesn't make the grade (try to bear with me ... this really isn't a pity party and I'm pretty sure I'm going somewhere with all this) ... I am uber-perspectively challenged, my color play often looks like some sort of psychedelic trip gone very, very wrong, I can look at a color wheel and STILL not get it, and although I have tried a number of mediums, there isn't a ONE thing-style-type that rocks my world and makes me want to east, sleep, breathe it ...

ATC - 0709

... but I like to make stuff ... more than that ... I

ATC - 0709

LOVE

ATC - 0709

the whole process of creating ... even the random (sometimes often) frustration of things being all wrong ... the motion of it ... the sratch-scrape-slide of pen on paper, the sharp creasing when folding, sticky fingers, paint in my hair and on my clothes ... time vanishing and then reappearing somewhere totally different ... strange stiffness from sitting in one position for far too long (ok, maybe I don't love the way it feels, but there IS satisfaction in it) ... the desire to try something new and the fears that goes along with it ... and then ... pushing those self imposed boundries ... trying it ... and finding out that the new thing opens doors to different worlds - and options - possibilities! ... returning to comfort and safety ... satisfaction of a job well done (even the occassional sadness that happens when a piece is complete) ... the happy surprise when something turns out ten times better than imagined ... all of it ...

ATC - 0709

I no longer want to be a mermaid (I don't really want to grow up, either) ... but last night ... or was that the night before ... anyway, I mentioned to Don, "when I grow up, I want to be an artist".

Guess what

... today I realized ...

I AM an ARTIST

*sighs*

pretty cool, eh?

44 comments:

rebecca said...

perfect,
soul stunning
self realization.

xoxoxo,
r

Debrina said...

Thought I'd come on by and say hello after your coming on by my way. I love these black and white images, they are fantastic. Very Escher-like. My favourite, even though I was hard pressed to choose, has to be the zebra. Will be back.

Pattee said...

OMG you are an artist!!!!
I knew you were the moment I found your blog~
Isn't it funny how we find out this artist thing by the paint in our hair the soreness in our bones.

There is no one medium that fit's the number 16 a-b xc = 12 is there?

We just like to make stuff! That's right!
Pattee

Corrine said...

Oh I know exactly what you mean. My father works in oils and that's great, but I flit from medium to medium happy with all of them not able to go in any one direction either.
When I was trying to grow up I wanted to play the harp or blow glass.he he

notmassproduced said...

there was never any question about it in my mind!

somepinkflowers said...

we have to grow up
?????

oh no
no one told me

:-0

well
you can be a mermaid ARTIST
and
i will be a ballerina WRITER/photographer

or
something else...

:-)

for who really
knows
?????
♥♥♥♥♥

Cat said...

amazing
one day you turn around
and your're "grown up"...
AND an ARTIST.
yeah, pretty cool.
I'm glad you are.
'cause I like your art.

When I was in 2nd grade and they went around the room with the what-do-you-want-to-be question, all the girls except me said nurse... and yes, I said artist.
: )

Cat said...

...and these sharpie drawings
are WONDERFUL! I love the fish and I LOVE the swirly sky behind the zebra!!

bindu said...

These are amazing. You have such a talent for patterns and illustrations. Of course you are an artist.

Kaerie Faerie said...

Your work is amazing, Yes, I would say you are one of the great artists, and I was a mermaid for awhile, I married my Sailor
dreams do come true
Karey

Janet said...

I've always thought you were an artist! And that last one? I LOVE! The curlicues!!!

cindy said...

Alright then, I was gonna say...if you cannot look at those beautiful ATCS and not see ART....welllllllll. I think what you do is magnificent. And we all have to find our niche in the art world. I still have issues with color. I still don't feel like I've found my "style", but like you, it is the process, its the drive to create that fuel my journey. Most excellent post my friend.

-c
yapping cat

ps and glad to hear that you are going to do the thing you need to do at 50! ;)

Anonova said...

A mermaid! How cool. I wanted to be an "arthur". Which is what I thought you called people who write books. :)

I too have that niggling feeling that I am not a fine artist, but I'm getting better at finding that niggler, judo-throwing it to the floor and STOMPING it til it shuts up.

On the other hand, would we get totally bored if we didn't have anything left to aspire to? I do wish I could find out.

Seth's Buried Treasure hunt has proven a gem yet again. I love your work and will gladly come back and see more!

Sprite said...

Incredible post! Perfect. Everything I've ever thought and felt, simplified into words. Words and feelings also felt by another and then a shared realization? huh. Outstanding.

You are an artist, a fantastic one at that!

Thank you!

Sprite

grrl + dog said...

ohhh!


I know that feeling.. been there...
like you have given birth to yourself.

congrats.

ArtPropelled said...

A most enjoyable post. You are an artist with flair! Love the last one.

Stephanie said...

Yes!! here HERE!! you are an artist...

wonderful post...

Sabii Wabii said...

OK you need to go right now and find a company to make rubber stamps out of your black and whites! I am VERY serious! they would be great for stamper!

SpiritMama said...

You are an artist, and you were all along! Great post, Michelle, and i love those black and white psychedelic ATC's!!!

shiborigirl said...

Yes, Sweetie, you ARE an artist with a Capital "A". There is nothing written down that says an artist has to work in color, in fact, some of my favorite works are in black and white, and very graphic like yours. Durer's woodcuts come to mind...

It's funny, I've been going through a similar journey recently with my jewelry, complete with fears and excitement, and DEFINITELY that mysterious stiffness from sitting to long. And where DID those 6 hours go one day last week?!? :)

xoxo,

Kate

alteredbits said...

what a wonderful post! and i love your black and white work. beautiful indeed! i really, really love the fish -- perhaps that's the pisces in. they are just gorgeous!

(i wanted to be a mermaid too, and in the army. i have NO idea where either came from.)

Margaret Ann said...

Anyone running around with a name like "3rd Eye Muse" has a palette for a heart and color running in her veins! You are amazing! There is a;ways joy here!

Love this series...The koi is outstanding...and if and when you ever want to trade ATCs ...you are so on! :)

Melissa said...

VERY Well Said! And as I sit here creating my THIRD set of legs for my first doll challenge, I realize you are right. There IS satisfaction even in the errors - otherwise why would we do it?

priti.lisa said...

Your art is beautiful!
One of the other arts is writing.
This post was so well written.
It echoed all of my feelings.
I will be back to look, read
and feel again.

Denise said...

Hello Artist! Your work is beautiful. I can relate to your words and more than any fun work I do with my dolls I think what drives me is that desire to just create. When the clay does not cooperate, I just simply 'create' something else instead. Just that 'creating' part is so powerful. Ahhhh, anything you bring about from imagination is art! Love your stuff!

Christine said...

Well said! I can relate to this post especially this week..the frustration and breaking through those boundries:)

I'm glad you are finally acknowledging yourself as an artist..kind of liberating isn't it?!

Margaret said...

wonderfully well wriiten, pretty cool? you bet! you have great style!

Chris said...

Hey, Michelle, this is so moving and sweet and TRUE. I'm in sedona, but I really wanted to take a moment during email to check out what you've been doing, and LOOK at this. So awesome. All of these are stunning.

Marilyn said...

To say what I loved best about this post would be to repeat every last word! Oh my GOSH!! You ARE an artist, in every sense!!!
Thanks for a beautiful post:)

Pursuing Art... said...

I am sitting here with the biggest SMILE right now!!!

Way to go, sweetheart! You said it...you accept it...you admitted it...you are an ARTIST! Your art is *FANTASTIC* and admired by so many! We each have a dream that we can unfold if we have the courage to admit what it is and have the faith to trust our own admission. The admitting is often the hardest part.

The ATC's are wonderful! I agree with Terisa, find someone to make stamps with you black and whites...this is a *GREAT* idea!!!

So proud of you and better than cool!!! Shoot for the moon, Michelle...I'll be here to support you, my friend.

I've got Diana Rosses song spinning in my mind! ~I'm coming out...I want the world to know...got to let it show...!!! Remember that one?

Keep smiling and shining! XO ~me

Jennifer Juniper said...

You beat me to it, I was going to say you ARE an artist! That's what being an artist is! I guess you are grown up, after all :)
(psst...I always wanted to be a scientist/princess)

Clevelandgirlie said...

Ahhhh the sweet comfortable feeling of self realization. Yes my dear, you ARE an artist and so much more. I mean, just look at these pictures -- but more than that - listen to the "words," the words paint just as vivid a picture as the pictures themselves. It's been a while since I've been by (life has gotten in the way over the summer) but I'm so glad to be back and that YOU are one of my first stops.
You are so cool!
XO

Evangeline said...

The ATCs are fantastic! And I love your words. Sometimes it is hard to embrace that "artist" title, even when clearly, YOU ARE.

Nikki Lee Anne Ghilain said...

Michelle you are soooo an Artist!
I know I have and have had All those same feelings...most days..I don't even care if everything goes wrong in my studio.....I love the process!
Not only are you an Awesome Artist....you are the Sweetest Soul.

Connie said...

yah, pretty cool...and you are a pretty spectacular artist, too! I love your line drawings - they are wonderful.....your diary page is fabulous....i did 2 pages....but i didn't think to post them!

Ginny Gaskill said...

I love black and white.

Kim Mailhot said...

There is something extra special about when we choose this title for ourselves, a real sense of accomplishment. Congrats ! Very cool indeed !

WrightStuff said...

Hey, I think we are thinking along the same lines. Yes, we should shout from the rooftops - WE ARE ARTISTS!! Thanks for stopping by and giving me a confidence boost!

~*~Magpie's Nest said...

Beautiful post, very thought provoking and moving! Love the idea of being a mermaid.....YES, you ARE an artist! Cool Beans!!!!
oxo ~*~ Patty

Brandi said...

you described the process perfectly. I remember that realization too...when I realized I was an artist. HUGE.

Creepy Margaret said...

These are really cool! Wood blocks or pen and ink? So detailed, you must be really patient.

One Crabapple said...

YAY ! oh yes you ARE , M.

YES.YOU.ARE.

In my twenties I worked for a textile company

My boss would introduce me at parties to her friends / co workers

and she would say

This is Sandy, She is an Artist...blah blah blah

I used to feel so inadequate and tell her

Margo, I am not really and "artist"

She firmly told me

If you can't SAY you are an artist

you will never BE an artist.

This always STUCK in my head

and when I read your flow of words

ending with

I AM AN ARTIST

My heart glows

My SMILE splits wide

and I send you the biggest hug.

I want to tell you how wonderful you are in so many ways

.... right now I just nod and feel such a connection

knowing that you KNOW

YOU.ARE.AN.ARTIST.

~* The Beldame on Peach Street *~ said...

This has got to be one of my ALL TIME favorite blog posts....HANDS DOWN!

Loooove it!

Yarni Gras! said...

wonderful. I have to show my daughter your blog when she gets home from a slumber party. I know you will inspire her!