Tuesday, February 3, 2009

In my Attempt to Avoid my Heavy Heart ...

I'm feeling a bit heavy hearted. I decided to take another job and had to give my boss my two weeks notice today ... this would have been a lot easier if I didn't care so much for her. I feel a bit fragile & pretty raw ... so ... even though I have a feeling this is going to be an exercise in twisted delight, instead of working on this:

I thought I would take inspiration from Robyn (click HERE) and post this:

Don made this bronze heart for me (Valentine's '99 - it should be noted that we aren't big into V-Day celebrations, so this was a huge surprise). We were living in Baltimore, MD. He was working at the New Arts Foundry, so was able to make the casting & soldered the "broken lock" part after it was cast. I'm not sure what the material was he used to sculpt the heart, but I am fairly certain this was a one time casting - I don't believe there is a mold of it. Before it was cast, he inscribed the back:

It's really hard to read in this photo ... it says, "Baby, you didn't need a key, you broke the lock to my heart".


If I don't say it enough, I know that I am a lucky, lucky girl.

When the new job opportunity came up, I had a lot of soul searching to do to make my decision. One night I broke out the Sculpy and the next thing I knew I had these:

a bunch of freeform hearts. I wasn't thinking about them as I was forming them - the hearts just seemed to happen. I also had no clue what I was going to do with them. On Saturday I cut out hearts from some of my favorite washi chiyogami papers and attatched them to one side:

I will varnish this side to protect the paper ... but then what? I don't know. I have a feeling I am just going to go with whatever happens ... maybe they'll turn out to be happy little hearts of hope. Guess we'll see.

"Nothing is so strong as
gentleness and nothing is so
gentle as real strength"
Ralph W. Sockman


Misty's Creations said...

Dear 3rd Eye,
Good luck with your new job. I have found in my past... every time the universe pushed me into change it has been painful, then it always turns out so much better than staying where I was! It's always scary and uncomfortable but when you look back a year from now, I bet you'll think, Thank goodness I had the courage to change. We as humans get complacent and stagnant if we remain in one place. Change is the only constant in the universe. By the way...I really enjoy your comments on my blog, I look forward to reading them... thank you and good luck with everything!

As Seen Through My Eyes.... said...

ohhh....breaking hearts.....sweet hearts....tender hearts....love hearts....creative hearts.....all around you...pouring forth from you. I think it's a good sign.

Studio At Crow Haven Farm said...

Michelle, sweet Michelle...Love Bunny with a Big Heart is on the way! How ironic how that all worked out! SOmetimes we must let go in order to grow...Good luck with new adventure, we won't call it a job, we will call it growth, believing, gaining strength to prepare us for what is to come! My heart is with you my little friend!

Sue said...

ah, I have been in your position in the past and can remember those mixed feelings well. Sometimes when "that one door opens, the other one closes" can hit you in the butt. Time does cure a lot of things though and the excitement of your new job will diminish those torn feelings you are experiencing.

btw..that heart and the inscription on it that Don gave you? Beautiful. I'd say he's a keeper.

Wishing you a calm couple of days.


dkuroiwa said...

I've always looked at new jobs with mixed emotions...even leaving ones i didn't really like!! good luck!!

and really? Don? Can he give lessons on "how to make a girl's heart get all mushy"? That was so sweet...what a treasure (both Don and the lock!!)

Those hearts?? LOVE 'em!! Can you bottle up some of your creativity and send it this way??

Shoozles said...

those are so colorful - I wanna see up close

Anonymous said...

Good Morning, M!
I'm sorry your heart is heavy - and I wish you the very best of luck in your new position!

Your hearts are GORGEOUS!! And the one your husband made for you is the most beautiful of all!

I also took a peek at your shrines and they turned out really lovely - I especially love the one with the lace veil.

Take care! Ciao!

Donna Patrice

bindu said...

Good luck with your new job. I love the inscription behind the heart Don made you - so romantic! :)

cindy said...

Awwwwwww, what a sweet and wonderful comment from a hubby...you are a lucky gal indeed! And love those little hearts...so sweet. Hang in there with your job changes!


Janet said...

Your husband is a sweetie! I love the heart he made for you....and the inscription is wonderful.

Your valentine hearts are so pretty. You've inspired me to get out the Sculpy!

Good luck in the new job. You can always keep in touch with your old boss.

Janet said...

Congratulations on your new job, but sorry you have to leave a boss you like...that's a rarity, seems like.

Oh, I LOVE those hearts!!! So beautiful :-)

Chris said...

oh, Michelle!
I love these hearts. I think this is the sweetest Valentine's day-type post I've seen. What an amazing heart he made for you. And I love the clay hearts with the papers. Washi papers are neato.

You are a kind soul and you are right to do what's good for you job-wise. Congrats. And many happy returns of the day, my friend!

Attic Rat said...

Changes are often difficult but can be very rewarding. I wish you all the best at your new job. Enjoy! - Teresa

e.beck.artist said...

groovy toovy hearts ... and it's ok they came from a heavy heart .... it's like that lemons/lemonade thing, i suppose ... the good news is, the heavy heart will pass ... and then you'll still have groovy cute hearts ...

Lisa Gatz said...

Someone once told me that there is grieving in any change. Maybe that's why change is so hard. I wish you peace and then excitement at your new job!

Love the hearts and the one that Don made for you is priceless!

lynne h said...

michelle, i am sending you big armfuls of love... take good care of yourself, and remember how bright you are to all of us whose lives you've touched. and how everyone everywhere feels this light... xxoo

Marilyn said...

Oh, Michelle, I just wanna give you a big hug...following your heart is so good, but why does it have to so difficult?! Wishing you much success in your new job.

Now...speaking of hearts...the one Don made for you says so much! How wonderfully special:) And I love the hearts you created--the washi paper was a fabulous idea!

Take care:)

Glassgrrl Studios said...

Don's heart for you is so sweet, and certainly unique.
It's never easy to leave a situation that isn't miserable, but that's how a lot of people end up in ruts, isn't it?
Here's hoping your new adventure is full of fantastic, delightful challenges.

3rdEyeMuse said...

thanks to you, my heart has lifted so high, my heads been hitting coulds all day (well, except the sky has been the clearest most beautiful blue we've seen for a long while - I think it's all of YOU that did that), but you know what I mean.

thank you. 10,000 more thank you's.

and in case anyone is wondering, I think he's a keeper too ... even if he's really smelly sometimes! lol

Anonymous said...

YOu know what..

I really feel that making hearts, working with the heart shape makes you feel better...

and more, working with your hands, well major meridians are in your hands that link straight ot your heart, so it works on an acupuncture level too. That's why hand massaged are so soothing.

AwtemNymf said...

awwww- cute saying on the metallic one *swoons*!
You've been playing around with a lotta hearts :O) They're darling!
Good Luck with your new job. At least you leave respectively and on good terms!
*sprinkle sprinkle*

Kate said...

Dear Michelle,

It's always hard to make changes, especially when we value the people we work with. I hope your heavy heart lightens soon. Can you stay in contact with your old boss or would that be too weird?

Your new sculpey hearts are charming!



Odddollz by Jacqui said...

AWWWWWWWW that is sooo sweet of hubby to make this heart for you:)
It really is the little things that are so special, you must be!!
I know it is hard to leave a place of comfort and to work for some one you like, I am sure you boss is an understanding woman and knows that this is the best thing for you:) I am sure she will miss you and you her. Good luck with your new journey my friend:)
The hearts you made are AWESOME:)




Robyn said...

All the best of luck, Michelle. Look forward and enjoy this new leg of your journey.

I love the heart your hubby made you. Very innovative! Your hearts cheer my heart.

Misty's Creations said...

Dear Michelle,
That was a very sweet thing to say about my wall but...YOU HAVE NO REASON TO ENVY ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I absolutely love your beautiful shrines they are not only beautiful but spiritual. And your hearts were just wonderful. You have two more hearts you are hiding...because they weren't pictured...your heart, which I think would be one of the kindest in the world and your husband's heart..which YOU have clearly STOLEN!

Corrine said...

Awesome hearts! Have you seen what stephanie Lee is doing on her blog? http://stephanielee.typepad.com/stephanie_lee_studios/
Scroll down a bit for a really sweet story about the heart she gave to her mother.
Thanks for the comments on my blog and the disintegration project. I've been so inspired by it, I don't want to stop lol

Margaret Ann said...

Wowza that metakl heart Rocks! What a man you have there! :)